Dear Teens:

You have entered one of the most difficult times in your life - the teen years - and we are here to offer help to get you through it.

We understand you are faced with a great number of challenges at this time in your life. As you enter high school things really start to change. You might be thinking about your future and what you'll do after high school. You might be faced with friends who are pressuring you to try drugs or alcohol. You might even try them and then decide that they're not for you. But how do you tell your friends?

Just a few years ago you loved it when your parents volunteered in your classroom, or when they took you somewhere with your friends. It was fun just hanging out at home watching movies and eating popcorn. But things have changed. If your mom or dad show up at school now it's embarassing. You're not sure why or when the change happened, but it did, and it's not making your life any easier having these feelings.

We've discovered that for many families it's a matter of parents making a switch in the way they parent their teen. They managed your life when you were younger because you weren't able to manage it yourself.

But as you enter the teen years you really want to manage your own life - or at least try. And you want your parents to have faith in you that you can start making some of your own choices and decisions.

In order to do that, and in order for your parents to let go enough to allow you to do that, you are going to need to show them you can be responsible and that you can make good choices.

Our goal is to help parents learn to coach their teens instead of trying to manage their teen's life. This doesn't mean you won't want to get advice from your mom and dad. They are often the best people in your life to give you advice because they love you and know you well.

Diana Sterling of New Generations International asked teens what they wanted and needed from their parents. Here's what they said:

                              A MESSAGE TO PARENTS

                        If you RESPECT me,

                        I will hear you.

                        If you LISTEN to me,

                        I will feel understood.

                        If you UNDERSTAND me,

                        I will feel appreciated.

                        If you APPRECIATE me,

                        I will know your support.

                        If you SUPPORT me

                        as I try new things,

                        I will become responsible.

                        When I am RESPONSIBLE,

                        I will grow to be independent.

                        In my INDEPENDENCE,

                        I will respect you and love you all of my life.

                        Thank you, Your Teenager

How do you feel after reading this poem? If your parents really listened to you and had resepct for you, if they truly understood, appreciated, and supported you, would you be more responsible? 

Wouldn't it be nice if the lines of communication could be opened so that you could sit down with your parents and really have a good heart-to-heart talk? Without them judging you?

How would you like your parents to become a coach in your life instead of continuing to manage your life? It is possible.

E-mail: coaching@positivefamilysolutions.com

               
________________________________________________

Isabelle Zehnder, Certififed Family Coach





Parent and Teen Coaching

Isabelle Zehnder
Coach - Mentor - Advocate

Building healthy family relationships, one family at a time!